(Grown Folks Talk) Fellas (and some ladies): Stop the 'fuzzy math' when it comes to sexual #'s. Better yet. Stop asking. ..

Just like this magical 'hoe number' some ya'll have outchea.. @ folks who don't have answer for this equation.

 Ask about his/her health. (Recurring theme throughout this post. Won't be the last time you see that phrase..)


 Lets be honest. Ya'll aren't built for the answer. Which is why you use the 'fuzzy math' method to 'muddle shit up'. To justify your fragile ego. Don't worry, you aren't ALONE. We do it as humans for all types of reasons. This is just one example. As touched on in a post by my boy OG Nitty*, the person's number is TRULY THEIR BUSINESS ANYWAY PLUS THERE IS NO MAGICAL NUMBER THAT IS 'RIGHT'. I've YET TO HAVE FOLKS GIVE ME SO MUCH AS A 'RANGE' as to what is an acceptable number for a given time period for sexual partners. Oh, they start off that way but then when we start off doing the math, they trail off. Think, 1 to 3 folks a year for a person who is 30 who started at say...15.. Yeah...it 'sounds good' until you start multiplying. The 'standard' doesn't equal the 'reality' of the situation. The reality of the situation is that if you want to have sex with someone and the FEELING IS MUTUAL, the longer you live, the higher the number is going to be in regards to their 'number of times at the rodeo'. It is just a fact. Some of you are out here looking for the Fairy GodSlut to bless you with the 'She does EVERYTHING but she is a Virgin' pot of Gold outchea while you (and everyone else) are out here just getting your Prince Akeem on sowing your 'royal' oats. This is basic math. Shouldn't be anything 'fuzzy' about it. Regular good people have sex idiot. @ the usage of a # to shame folks for doing it.

Before I REALLY GET INTO THOUGH, I want to address you ladies that are sitting here snigglin' as you read this. Now I know some of you are gonna start that, "I took some years off for me' shit that you like to fall back on when you want to 'brag about your number' and shit. That's cool. If your number is low, GOOD FOR YOU. But lets be clear. Everyone else didn't get SHITTED ON OUT HERE THOUGH LIKE YOU DID so you can't hold folks to YOUR STANDARD 'cause you decided that 'all niggas weren't shit' and started having 'relations' with...oops...I mean you took some time off from 'dick'..my bad. Or even if you didn't partake in sexual relations of ANY SORT WITH ANYONE again, we all aren't you. @ taking being hurt to the extreme of a 3 year hiatus. ** Don't penalize the rest of us for your 'hurt alert' ass. @ your 'time away from the court'. Besides, we know ya'll leave out some encounters due to (insert your reason here E.I. 'No emotional connection, on vacation, didn't 'like him anyway' or whatever reason you use to pretend that sex didn't happen..). Just thought I would address that right quick before we went any further...

Now where was I? Oh yeah..I wanted to ask questions of some of you judgmental ass folks outchea...


Now lets just say that someone DID manage to fall PERFECTLY in line with this fictitious magical number that you can't seem to put into any type of range that some of you deem appropriate for sexual relations, are you gonna stop clowning them for not being 'experienced'? Are you going to stop using words like 'stuck up' or phrases like 'She thinks she is too good to be out here with folks"?

What about if YOU, WITH YOUR HIGH ASS NUMBER, does manage to have sex with her? Then what? Are ya'll going to stop with the 'I broke her down' bullshit? The 'I got over' mentality? Is she now a hoe by proxy because she fucked with your sorry ass? Riddle me that one Sherlock...

I mean there seems to be 'no win' in this situation. @ the 'numbers' game. Too high and you are a hoe. Too low and you are stuck up and a 'goodie two shoes'. Oh and there's no number for each age so you can't be 'normal'. You either have to be one or the other.. And you want to know why I want ya'll to grow up and stop asking for folks 'sexual numbers' though? -_- It should be clear. The RULES ARE MUDDLED AS FUCK. They always have been too. I don't want to make it sound like this is new. If you really knew me though, you would know I've been screaming this since I first had sex. (14) 'Cause at some point, I was confused by all the 'high number' talk. Especially when I knew folks were 'lying' about what they did and didn't do 'cause...well...I WAS THERE. @ who really had sex with who. Why is THAT IMPORTANT? Because you negros don't 'let shit go' that's why. You are still running on rumors of shit that happened 20 years ago even after YOU FOUND OUT THE DUDE (OR GALS) whose information you trusted so much were some 'frauding ass busters'. @ who they REALLY GOT BUSY WITH. Some of them are still passing that 'wack ass game' to their kids and their kid's kid out here. That's why it is important. I know the mentality of 'If he/she said it and they are popular/witty/hold weight, then it must have happened" truly is still thriving and guess what...(WHISPERS) That skews the 'numbers' too......-_-. Hadn't thought of that had you Sherlock? I know....

You see so maybe it is time to grow up and act like an adult for once. Stop it with the high school Laura/Steve Eurkel shit. @ the outlook on things. Folks are grown.

Dudes, stop running up on girls asking for how many sexual partners they had and MOST DEFINITELY STOP the 'background' checks if she is truly healthy. She had a life before your sorry ass and you will have one after her. Stop looking the Gift Horse in the mouth. @ all this bad mouthing women about the sex they have BEFORE AND AFTER YOU. It is not your concern. Only thing you should care about is if she is healthy. You can ask her THAT. That's cool. After that, everything else is being less than a man truthfully. Girls worry about the next person. Real men REALLY DON'T and don't even ask about it. Besides, most of you have the ego of a gnat. That is to say the 'slightest' little thing sets you off on a period like rampage. Ole Carl Thomas ass niggas...Why set yourself up to fail by asking for a number that you know you can't accept either way? If her number is low, you are gonna worry about if she knows what she is doing? (Wrongfully so...as she just might be...well..GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES...It happens you know..) If her number is too high, you are gonna worry about all type of silly shit. High or low, you should ALWAYS be worried about her health if that is gonna be a concern. Any # over zero should raise that flag. The things you could get are like bullets. They don't speak numbers and they don't have names on them. They do them and get at whoever. Period. Stop thinking like a little boy for once. Damm.


 Ladies, you can stop 'spreading the word' about who sucked who off too. You were over there in the corner busy yourself. Remember? It doesn't matter that you 'never called that dude again 'cause you knew he had no contact info on your and ya'll were out of town.'. Nope. Sorry. If you are going to be grown, then be grown. Own up to your own shit and stop worrying about what the next broad is doing so you can look good. *** Own your numbers man. Without ya'll, we don't get laid by the OPPOSITE SEX. You are the opposite sex.


























*Sometimes I think Nitty is eavesdropping on my thoughts. I already had this post planned then he wrote this....


HEAD TO HEAD- -HOW IT GOES DOWN BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: I SAY "FUCKIT"!


...and then I KNEW I had to write it.


 ** It should be noted that some of you who I do know who did that, you were NOT A JOY TO BE AROUND. Trust me. @ that time period. smh

 *** If you weren't in the same room with her when she did it, that is even MORE REASON TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. You didn't see it happen. I don't care if it is your 'bestie' telling you that he did it and he swore on his mother. He more than likely swears on his mother every time he is jammed up....

(Words) Fellas (and some of you ladies), this is how you sound on the subject of sex/females.

I probably don't need to 'elaborate' on this but JUST IN CASE SOME OF YOU WANT TO FEIGN IGNORANCE AND ACT LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY...LET ME BE REAL FUCKING CLEAR.


A WHOLE LOT OF YOU DON'T KNOW EXACTLY 'HOW TO FEEL' ABOUT WOMEN HAVING SEX YET YOU WANT SEX FROM THEM. You want to be able to feel 'high and mighty' and like you are 'getting over' when you do it so that when things go 'awry', it won't be 'your fault' or that you will 'somehow' be the one who has 'won'. As if this shit is some sort of pissing contest. That is what the above caption is alluding to. All you pompous ass mofos out here who ought to be happy you even get your dick wet to begin with (and all you prudish ass girls who sit on the sidelines...cackling it up..like you don't do shit.) complaining at EVERY TURN about a women doing something that you 'think you are entitled to' to begin with. I almost want to tell women to turn the 'pussy facet' off on you lame niggas for a GOOD WHILE so maybe you will get it. For real. Just from the outside looking in, it is a 'hard road'. The kicker....



Some of you aren't even GETTING PUSSY out here complaining about what they should and shouldn't do. 

Now I'm all for shared responsibility and taking ownership of one's faults so by NO MEANS ARE WOMEN ON A WHOLE UNACCOUNTABLE FOR SHIT BUT SOME OF YOU DUDES OUT HERE who are acting the way the caption up top reads are WHY THEY COME OFF LIKE THEY DO. I don't blame them. Sorry.*







*Aww you are just some 'lonely blogger' who wrote this shit who is probably (insert your favorite thing that you think everyone should have that you just got that you don't realize that most of us have had, sold it, bought again and sold it back again, including ME, material thing here) doesn't have........- You. 

I started writing this when Sportscenter came on at 6:00..It is now 6:04..this is light work my niggas. Doesn't take much thought for me. I am not YOU. It doesn't strain my brain to type up some quick 'get right' for you niggas and then get back to what I'm doing. Catch up though....
 

Life, Love & Sinn aka @SinnamonLove: The Miseducation Of Amber Cole | The Well Versed

Life, Love & Sinn: The Miseducation Of Amber Cole | The Well Versed


I'mma give you a piece of what she wrote.... Go read the rest of it at the link...



Oh and for you 'high horse/but low on the totem pole' cats who don't want a 'porn star' to tell you anything, she sounds better educated than you and your favorite lil 'smart blogger/favorite tweeter'. Word she does...





Reading the story of Amber Cole through bloggers and social media sites I’m glad I missed the masses of people berating this young girl for her sexual exploration and making poor decisions with her heart because of one reason… I too was miseducated. The extent of sex education for most young women of color at home is “don’t get pregnant,” while at school its “these are the STDs you can catch.” I remember skipping school to go to Planned Parenthood when I thought I was pregnant by a boyfriend in high school, (turned out I had ovarian cysts instead.) Up until I overheard an older sister and her friends discussing the physical sensation of orgasms, I had been terrified that I had urinated on my partner when I ejaculated. I knew that “16 could get you 20,” but was still flattered by the attention of the good looking older boys with cars, jobs and money… despite having both a stepfather at home and my biological father that both spoiled me rotten. I was terrified of the idea of my boyfriend “going down” on me and thought “giving head” was something only White girls did.



At 16, a boyfriend broke up with me because I wouldn’t give him a blow job and wouldn’t engage in anal sex only to have him come to a video store signing in North Carolina shocked that I had grown up to be, well, Me. But that was the 80s and 90s… before I became a mother, before I went to college, before I met my first love and long before porn. I think back to that same boyfriend at 16 that recorded the sound of us having sex with his dual cassette boom box, (while Janet Jackson’s “Someday is Tonight” played on the other side,) and giggling at the thought of his being able to listen to it later when he was alone. To this day, he still has that tape. To this day, its still considered child porn.



This is not intended to be a condemnation on the persecution and criminalization of consensual sex between teens. I’m not going to get into a discussion of single parent households, fatherlessness and young girls seeking attention or lack of positive role models in the media for young people to follow. I don’t know Amber Cole, her family or her background and I certainly can’t make any assumptions as to what was going through her head when she decided to do whatever “he” wanted in order to win him back. To say that it was despicable how adults attacked this young girl online, to the point of their being rumors of her suicide is indeed an understatement yet – I’m not surprised.



For as long as I could remember, despite the lack of appropriate sex education, I always heard grown ups talk about “fast tail little girls” that flirted too much, wore short skirts or were just victims of their early physical development. No one ever chastises the men for their lecherous looks and inappropriate advances, but we certainly denigrate the girls to harlots rather quickly. What does bother me the most is that even in this day and age, we continue to perpetuate the cycle of misinformation or a lack of appropriate sex education for teens and young adults, yet punish them socially and criminally for their activities. In some states, a 19-year-old can be punished for up to 10 years for consensual sex with a 16-year-old and yet, in talking to my 18-year-old son I’ve found that not once was appropriate ages of sex partners or statutory rape covered in any of his sex ed classes in elementary, middle school or high school. Sex education continues to be limited to reproduction and disease, with limited information about available services for birth control, abortion, incest or sexual abuse.



In light of the Amber Cole Incident and the questions that came later from my 14-year-old currently taking sex ed, I’ve found that traditional sex education continues to stagnate and doesn’t include information on potential repercussions that sexting or consensual filming of sex acts between minors can have on the futures (legally, academically and socially,) of all parties involved. Its not 100% the schools fault. Educators are crippled by fear from parents that are blinded by their spiritual or moral beliefs on what they do and don’t want their children to be taught. Teenagers continue to wear purity rings and yet engage in risky sexual behaviors such as anal and oral sex in order to maintain their virginity. Boys are still allowed to be boys and girls are still expected to be held to a higher standard… and as in the case of Amber Cole, at least 2 boys have now been arrested and the FBI is deciding whether to prosecute…



I have to wonder, did anyone ever have a discussion with Amber Cole about sex in public places or looking out for hidden cameras? Did anyone ever say to these boys that pornography is something produced for and by adults and is not something for children and teens to engage in? Did anyone ever stop to tell these young men that “you don’t have to lie to kick it,” and that sometimes, honesty will still allow them to find sexual satiation while lies will only leave a sea of broken, angry hearts behind?
It angers me that somewhere along the line, all 4 of these children involved have been failed – not just by their parents and their schools, but their communities at large. It seems no one sat this young lady down and explained to her that sometimes guys (and girls) will try to take advantage of her sexuality and to be cautious of who you give you heart to. I’m angry because I see Amber Cole – yet another young woman that was under the mistaken belief that sex and love are synonymous – was willing to do anything for the “man” she loves. I wish that we would stop limiting sex education to bible verses and disease and start giving these young women back their power.



Its time for real world sex education; masturbation, condom use, risky sexual behavior, teen sex laws and consequences outside of STDs and teen pregnancy MUST be included in our discussions of sex with our kids. Parents have to stop thinking that conversations of teen sex will encourage promiscuity. When my oldest daughter went away to college with her boyfriend, I had a discussion with her about birth control. Today, at 19, they have now been together 5 years and are both in their 2nd year of college at the same school and there aren’t any babies on the way. When my youngest got ready to start high school I had a frank discussion with her about boys using a girl’s sexuality to their advantage for their own sexual exploration, and encouraged her to make sure when she is ready that her sexual exploration is on her terms and no one else’s. These are the conversations we should be having with our children.




People continue to act as though the Boogie-Man is some creepy old guy that lives in a house around the corner that everyone knows not to go to his house on Halloween… but what about the predator right in your child’s classroom, or the playground, or on the phone, cupcaking with them late at night? Throughout the late 90s, talk show television and soap operas brought to light the subject of teen domestic violence. I can only hope that the Miseducation of Amber Cole brings to light the subject of teen sex abuse and misconduct and allows us to have more frank, open conversations with our children. Sex is on every television show they watch and in every song on the radio that they listen to. If songs like Miguel’s “Quickie” can be played on the radio, how can you not explain to your children what a quickie is if you hear them playing it or humming along? How can you not sit through an episode of Family Guy, American Dad, South Park or Tosh 2.0 with your kids so you can inquire what they know about the subject matter they are laughing at? Sometimes, being a parent isn’t comfortable but you still have an obligation to fulfilling your children’s needs. If we don’t educate our kids, the streets will continue to do so… and Amber Cole won’t be the last young Black woman exploited and these three Black boys won’t be the last to be criminalized as a result.