(Words) The Pomp & Circumstance of 'Insert Name Here' Day.. Lowering 'the expecations' and then turning around & getting mad about it...

I guess I SHOULD start this off by saying Happy Mother's Day. So I will. Happy Mother's Day to all. If you are a Mother, playing the role of Mom, yadda yadda yadda yadda..I'm talking to you. Does this apply to Father's Day too? See the end of the post..

Back to the title of the post though...


" I don't care...It's just one day..." - The correct answer everyone KNOWS they should give AND MEAN for these days. Anyone with any sense anyway. 


"I can't believe.." I just expected more....." "I gave hints after I said I didn't care though..." - What almost ALWAYS ENDS UP HAPPENING when things go awry on these days.. Or just some underlying shade for few DAYS...

I'm probably not alone in this one as being SOMETHING THAT GETS ON MY NERVES. Like NO OTHER. It doesn't matter from WHO EITHER. Child, Woman, Man. Mother. SO. My own kids. Friends. I don't discriminate or tolerate this shit. Especially in regards to 'certain days', 'certain events' and the like. 

Even more cumbersome is the 'built in the excuse' that I or anybody else should 'already know that the person who is saying 'I don't care about....(insert whatever it is)" REALLY DOESN'T MEAN IT AND I SHOULD GO ABOVE AND BEYOND ANYWAY SO THAT THEY CAN FEEL 'SPECIAL'. 

Listen man, we are ADULTS. Adults I say! Times like these are NOT THE OPPORTUNITY to revert back to being a fucking baby who needs to be 'coddled and cajoled' into being 'wanted'. No sir/ma'am. Nobody has time for that. Out here guessing and shit. Then...then.. when folks go through ALL THE TROUBLE TO DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T 'want them to do' and you don't respond with enthusiasm, who is at fault? Yep...you guessed it.... 


We are...'cause you said "Don't bother..I told you don't go through all of that trouble...You shouldn't have done shit....Told you I didn't care..."

Let SOMETHING 'special' not be done though...-_-? Then we are still at fault... I've seen COUNTLESS NUMBERS OF FOLKS be in the proverbial 'doghouse' because of that. Not like they weren't HEADED THERE ANYWAY 'cause of the aforementioned paragraphs. It is a PRETTY HOPELESS SITUATION. (Insert your cliches here for it..) 


 SO I would like to start with this first. If you want something special done, SAY THAT SHIT. Don't be wishy washy about it. Not that I don't find the fact that you even want it that way ONLY ON THESE PARTICULAR DAYS a little disturbing. I do... just don't play the 'throw the stone/hide the hands' game with it. Just like someone who isn't a ' OVER THE TOP gift giver' shouldn't play that game either. Let it be known where you stand on that issue. I would also like to point out, as I will a few more times in this post, that some of you HAVE IT REALLY GOOD DURING THE COURSE OF THE YEAR SO ALL THESE 'DEMANDS' YOU ARE OUT HERE MAKING ARE PRETTY SILLY.  

Some of you DO HAVE SONS/daughters WHO COME TO SEE ABOUT YOU OR CALL YOU EVERY DAY. Make arrangements for you to be taken care of in lieu of their absence. Stay extended times In addition to him taking care of his own HOME in the manner that you raised him to do so in.

Some of you do have boyfriends, co-parents, husbands, ex-husbands that DO MAKE SURE THAT THE KIDS (and you) are taken care of FAR AND AWAY beyond the call of what are wrongfully considered 'womanly duties. Keeping hot meals (cooked from scratch) on tables, doing what was once considered the woman's role of 'showing up at the school for school functions that DO NOT INVOLVE DISCIPLINE OF THE CHILD and the like IN ADDITION TO THE OTHER 'MANLY RESPONSIBILITIES' THAT HE TAKES ON that you REAP THE BENEFITS FROM. Nothing like saying "I'm gonna be home late..." just to let him know you are SAFE AND THAT'S IT knowing that he can and will handle everything else at home 'cause that is WHAT HE ALREADY DOES... 

So lets' not get out here and get bitter because Sally down the street got the 'makeup for all the shit I don't do during the year' treatment aight? Sally's son/husband/man PROBABLY HAS A LITTLE MORE TIME ON HIS HANDS..ya underdig?



It is pretty much one of the more selfish stances in the World if you REALLY DON'T MEAN IT WHEN YOU SAY 'I don't care'/you get upset when you see others 'getting stuff' when you know you get it YEAR ROUND. ...Especially if you are going to then turn around and succumb to all the 'pressures and the like' from any pomp and circumstance that is being paraded around you by others. You know the:

 'Didn't anyone do XYZ for you?"
 
'You mean he/she/they didn't take you out/get you to a overpriced dinner/crowded commercialized place/overpriced gift because the stores KNOW THAT YOU ARE 'OBLIGATED TO BUY ON THIS DAY' GIFT? 


Or my that opening salvo of ALL SALVOS....


"JUST WHAT DID HE/SHE/THEY for you today 'cause you know (insert the names) took me XYZ and treated me like a (insert the title here) 


All of that shit is CUTE AS CAN BE. If you can do it, GO DO IT. Every last bit of it. Let me tell you one fucking thing RIGHT NOW THOUGH. 




If you are out here trying to take ONE DAY AND MAKE UP FOR THE OTHER 364 (365 ON THIS LEAP YEAR!) DAYS THAT YOU AREN'T DOING SHIT/SLANDERING FOLKS WHO YOU FEEL AREN'T DOING ENOUGH/FEELING BAD BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GETTING WHAT OTHERS ARE GETTING EVEN THOUGH THE REST OF THE YEAR YOU HAVE WHAT IT IS THEY WANT OUT OF LIFE.....


You are pretty fucking sad.You can't make up for it all in one day. You can't have it made up TO YOU all in one day. You SURELY can't be outchea type upset over material things when you are getting the intangibles that others are YEARNING FOR AND COMPENSATING FOR with the gifts they get throughout the year. Nope. Sorry.



Why would I say it like that? 'Cause that is the only way some of you will hear me. That's why. If I said it nicely, you would come out here with the 'But if...' and all of that shit. I don't want to hear it though...

Who gives a shit if 'such and such went by to see his MOTHER TODAY and took her to XYZ' WHEN I'M (others too) OUT HERE MAKING SURE HIS MOTHER DOESN'T HAVE TO PULL HER TRASH CANS DOWN TO THE CURB every day 'cause his 'right up the street ass doesn't come through to see her?

Who cares if 'such and such' took his girl/baby mother/wife' to WHEREVER HE TOOK HER, TOOK THE KIDS FOR 'ONE DAY', BOUGHT HER A PAIR OF 'WHATEVER HE BOUGHT' OR DID whatever he did WHEN THE OTHER 364 DAYS OF THE YEAR, he doesn't 'help her', doesn't cook, doesn't 'babysit his own kids'*, or pretty much doesn't do make any other sacrifices outchea. 


Who cares if on Christmas, there's a new car sitting out front for 'such and such' EVERY YEAR when you by June, cats are getting put out of their HOUSE AGAIN 'cause bills aren't paid? 




.....Not me... And neither should you. It is being done for show for the most part and in many cases, it is a 'THE MAKEUP CALL'. Which is why you see so many folks in flux the days after. It almost always turns into 'I knew that 'treatment' wouldn't last....' Sure it is nice to do for folks and go above and beyond at times. However, if your normal level of doing is a two an eight level effort will only magnify the two level effort QUICK FAST AND IN A HURRY. Ya'll don't hear me out here though.. Think about it though.


Look, I'm NOT saying 'don't do anything for anybody' on these 'special days'. Nope. What I am saying is, while the days are special, your EVERY DAY LIFE ACTIONS should be indicative of that. That's what I am saying. What I am saying is if you are one of these 'conflicted folks' who KNOWS WHILE YOU MAY NOT GET THE THINGS FROM whomever is in your Life material wise on these commercial days but who gets ALL THE LOVE, SUPPORT, AND THE LIKE FROM THEM THE REST OF THE YEAR don't be sour. Trust me...Those folks who got something today can't 'use what they got' today to replace the voids that are missing MOST TIMES** These are the same folks who are sitting back the REST OF THE YEAR, wishing that their son/daughter DID CALL THEM EVERYDAY, did STAY OUTTA TROUBLE AND NOT CAUSE THEM STRESS, FINANCIAL HARDSHIPS AND EMOTIONAL DISTRESS WITH THEIR BULLSHIT, did come see their kids, did TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS, did CHIP AND HELP/TAKE THE FUCK OVER with their kids and all of the other things that they applaud 'you for having in your Life'. Just remember that..


So Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there. Show your mother or the mothers in your lives some love. Try and remember that the OTHER DAYS OF THE YEAR THOUGH and any Mothers out there who didn't get 'the treatment' but gets 'THE TREATMENT' all the rest of the days of the year? Rest easy. Tomorrow, those that care will still be on the job and those that 'faked it' today 'cause the spotlight was on, will be gone. Let folks have today though. 


Which would you rather have? The 'perfect Mother's Day' or the 'there for you all year round' person? I know what I would pick... It's one day. It is just like Valentine's Day to me honestly. You need ONE DAY to remember you LOVE YOUR MOMMA? Or those that are Mother's around you? Word? Oh okay.... 






Oh..I almost forgot what I said at the beginning of the post. @ Father's Day. You know what? It DOES APPLY.  Not because it is 'fair' but because it is TRUE. I mean, if you don't appreciate the VERY FEW MEN OUT HERE ACTING LIKE FATHERS the other 364....There's a problem. Sorry. Ditto if you have told everyone around you that 'All you need is a beer and some quiet time'..you can't get mad if all you get is...well....SOME BEER AND SOME QUIET TIME. If you want MORE, you need to say it but you PROBABLY WANT TO TAKE IN CONSIDERATION ALL THAT IS DONE FOR YOU DURING THE COURSE OF THE YEAR by those that care. That's all I'm gonna say about that.. I won't be as thinly veiled about that day 'cause it INVOLVES ME. If I want something specific, I'm probably gonna MAKE IT HAPPEN and not wait to see 'if it does happen'. That's just me though...

*You can't babysit your OWN KIDS. They are yours. Oxymoron if there EVER WAS ONE..  


**This is the part where I have to compensate for some of you as your inner hit dog starts to com...I mean lack of reading comprehension begins to come out. I said SOME. Which would be to say that there are people can GIVE and STILL DO THEIR JOB THE REST OF THE YEAR. If you THINK I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU WELL THEN...THAT'S your issue. Not mine..Keep barking though....dawg.. 

(Words) Dear Folks Who Want to The World to use 'The Rooney Rules' in their dating lives 'cause your Life sucked..

The Internet is a BEAUTIFUL PLACE. Lets make NO MISTAKE ABOUT THAT. I enjoy being on it. I enjoy meeting new folks, some that think JUST LIKE ME AND SOME WHO DO NOT. I THOROUGHLY ENJOY IT. I want to make that clear 'cause if I did not enjoy it, I wouldn't be on it to the extent that I am. Of course that part of the Internet is NOT what I am here to speak on today. I mean, what would be the fun in that? (Don't answer that...the one day I DO GET ON HERE TO DO JUST THAT THOUGH, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS.. )

Everyone, RIGHTFULLY has something that they believe in STRONGLY. While I think that it is a GREAT THING even if I don't necessarily agree with what they believe in, I am NOT A FIRM BELIEVER IN 'Stand for something or you will fall for anything.'. Why?

'Cause a lot of you stand for BULLSHIT that's why! Which in turn is JUST AS BAD IF NOT WORSE THAN STANDING FOR NOTHING AT ALL. @ you pushing bullshit agendas and spreading it like it is the gospel. That's why. Standing for 'bullshit' just for the sake of standing for 'something' is probably one of the biggest COP OUTS 'we' (my people) perpetuate on this Earth. I abhor it but it isn't my 'call' to choose what you stand for. Just know that if it is 'my respect' you want, that isn't the way to get it. *



Back on topic though as far as the people one might meet on the Internet. There are folks out here FIGHTING FOR GOOD THINGS EVERY DAY. They have some FANTASTIC CAUSES. Equal rights for blacks. For minorities. For WOMEN. Justice this. Equality that. Making sure folks aren't reduced to a fetish....(record scratch)...


Yeah...you read that right. There are folks out here who are ADAMANT about folks being able to distinguish having a preference and having something they like turn into a fetish who will hit you with it EVERY DAY B. Every day. Looking for the 'one chink in a tweet/Facebook status/blog post' that they can 'spread open' to call someone  'out' on the things that THEY LIKE. Not that they person BOUGHT THEIR 'FETISH' TO THEM PERSONALLY. Oh no! This is STRAIGHT DIGGING through the trash to find that one item that wasn't 'put in the recycle bin' type stuff. @ folks doing this. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO TALK ABOUT TODAY LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. This particular subject is just one of THE MANY SUBJECTS that end up being 'discussed' in the manner I am about to present to you on the daily by some of the folks you may encounter on the Internet. 


So what you are saying Mr. Blogger is that if I have something that I 'believe in' I should just keep it to myself huh? I should NOT DISCUSS IT or chime in when 'what I believe' is being challenged, misconstrued, misrepresented, or I otherwise feel folks aren't 'getting it'? Is that the message you are going to send Mr. Blogger? 'Cause if so, I don't wanna.....

WHOA THERE KIMASOBE ...not what I said..

 
























Of course you can chime in. It is a free country. You can discuss, defend, reiterate and do so to YOUR HEART'S CONTENT. Just understand this though. Some of you are FAR TOO JUDGMENTAL AND OVERBEARING WITH THAT SHIT and in turn YOU ARE GOING TO GET HEAT returned at you.

Look, I get that whatever 'cause/movement/etc' that you are out here in these social media tweets is PERSONAL for a lot of you. Some of you have even admitted as such. That is human nature. Understandable. Some of you take it too far though. @ the personal attacks I have seen you make on others. I don't follow a lot of you because of it (and vice versa as I have told many of you who will probably get your hands on this about yourselves on MORE than one occasion.) Shit is annoying.

Take for example the 'light skin'/damm near white thing'/interracial dating horse ya'll love to beat to death on the TL...For some of you , SHIT WAS REAL IN THE FIELD. You weren't getting 'chose' 'cause Becky & Stephanie were the flavor. You missed out on the 8th Grade Dinner Dance 'cause Qwon took Lightskinned  Keisha with the grey eyes and curly hair after chasing you down the Summer before to make 'that alone time ya'll had' special. Prom sucked because the star athlete you used to TUTOR so that HE COULD PLAY BALL, didn't ask you to Prom and went with ......(You know her name...) I GET IT. We ALL GET IT. That nigga wasn't SHIT. He did you wrong in some capacity (According to you anyway...) . SO DID EVERY OTHER BOY (girl) WHO NEVER CHOSE YOU. It happened. Nobody is DENYING that you were hurt by that. Here's the thing though..




WE DIDN'T DO IT. They did. As a result.....Since we know we really didn't do shit to you, no one person in their RIGHT MIND IS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE POWER TO BASICALLY DICTATE THAT THEY....



 'Rooney Rule'**   THEIR DATE/FB LIFE TO APPEASE YOU.  Fuck I look like, justifying SHIT to you over some shit I DIDN'T DO TO YOU? You have some nerve out here. I look like a stone cold idiot doing that. Take that shit back to the mofo who hurt you or got @ 'him' (her) or some shit. Leave good folks alone outchea. I didn't do shit to you. The folks on your TL didn't do anything to you. It was the folks in the past who did it. Go SEE THEM ABOUT IT. Or get on a couch and get some help. Shit. Nobody is out here about to 'interview candidates' for a job they aren't gonna get anyway. I mean how do you even decide that shit? What would be the rules on that? Is there a minimum/maximum # of young ladies one can have in the 'interview process' before it doesn't become 'playerish'. Be careful what you are wishing for out here ladies... Oh wait, I suppose if we did that then Steve's 90 day rule might...nevermind... (That's a WHOLE OTHER POST...)

 Stop running up on folks with that shit. Shit is tired. ESPECIALLY...in light of the fact that the 'niggas that do that wouldn't never get any of this anyway.." - You. 


What you out here crying over spilled milk that YOU WOULDN'T TOUCH WITH YOUR ENEMIES LIPS FOR ANYWAY? Riddle me that shit... 

This is coming from a DARK SKIN BLACK MAN who DEFINITELY wasn't in style during the 'Ricky Fountaine' era...So it isn't like I don't 'know what ya'll are talking about'. I won't feign ignorance. IT EXISTS. Gotta get in the game though folks and get over the past. I got over it. QUICKLY MIGHT I ADD. It is high time you did too... Who cares that you 'can't stand dudes that think dating a 'such and such' is an upgrade? Fuck you really gonna do about it? Date ALL OF THEM IF THEY DECIDE TO DATE YOU? No. You aren't. You will just find some other reason on your Kameela's*** ass list to write them off for anyway. So what is the big deal and why are you shoving that shit in folks face....DAILY?

It is even more hilarisad when I see folks who 'fit the stereotypes' denouncing it AND...AND... WAIT FOR IT.... going at ANY AND EVERYBODY WHO THEY THINK 'FITS' THE BILL. Got a white (really any woman who isn't DARK AND BLACK) woman? Don't let this person find out 'cause all of the sudden, she is in your mentions grilling you about 'what you like about your woman' like she REALLY FUCKING INTERESTED in ANY ANSWER YOU GIVE. Why? She has already made up her mind that you have 'fetish' tendencies and is waiting for you to say those famous words..


" I like her because she is different.." 

You could type in 'She is different in that she likes the things I like..." and the ONLY WORD HOMEGIRL is going to see is 'different'. Then you will get 'told about yourself' as she RTs you up and down her TL for all of her 'supporters' to come in to cosign with the 'See..I hate folks who do this....Why can't you just..." This is the BULLSHIT right here..lol




Here's the kicker..The very 'self hate' tag that folks like that THROW AROUND LIKE A DIRTY DISHRAG? It has permeated them. They HATE THEMSELVES. The hate is so bad that for most of them, they can't reconcile the fact that if someone likes them for their 'look' that it is OKAY. Some sad shit going on out here. @ folks looking TOO HARD FOR THE FLAW to see the flawlessness in someone's attraction to them.


So who cares if ole boy got a white girl. Or a Spanish girl. Or an Indian girl. Of if she is fucking a white dude... (Even though there isn't really much of an OUTWARD issue with that anymore to me anyway..@ the folks I know..) Fucks it mean to you REALLY? YOU WEREN'T CHECKING FOR HIM if you knew him. Hell the chances are PRETTY HIGH you were probably engaging in some 'segregation' tactics in regards to him in YOUR OWN RIGHT! @ whatever issues you had with him or folks like him. You can't be mad he/she looked elsewhere. These divisive tactics are AWFUL FAMILIAR though..Once upon a time, we were the ones getting discriminated on over silly shit. Scrutinized with a fine tooth comb for nothing. Seems we learned a lot from our oppressors. It shines through every day I tell ya...















And what is this shit I am hearing 'women' NOT LIKING TO BE CALLED 'FEMALES' and 'Men are never 'males'..'


https://twitter.com/#!/ArriannaMarie/status/194285182696693760

 I don't follow this person. Actually I don't even follow the person that RT'd (Dream Hampton) it which started the shit storm on my TL last night..



The discussion itself isn't the issue for me. You want to have that, COOL. Have away at it. The lies being told so that folks could 'sound right' was what kinda threw me off. It was the 'tone' it took as it got RT'D up and down my TL. The finger pointing started. The 'you have no right to speak on it' shit started. Folks became REALLY STANDOFFISH about it in one breath but STAYED QUESTIONING WHY IT COULDN'T BE 'DISCUSSED'. Hmmm, I wonder why... @ the attacking tone of the conversation. It was an ambush. Good to see that one male (oops...I addressed him as a male..I must NOW BE STONED TO DEATH AS IT COULD BE SEEN AS DEROGATORY..FOH with that shit..) spoke up on the fact that we DO IN FACT get addressed as 'males' all the time in a NEGATIVE fashion. By OURSELVES NO LESS... Here are some more examples though in case you feel like his experience is akin to seeing a pot of Gold or something..


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-lynch-edd/trayvon-martin-black-boys_b_1372866.html






 She said NEVER.. The argument isn't who has it 'worse' so don't come pulling that card over here. She said NEVER. Never doesn't mean some of the time, it means NEVER. Tell her to choose her words better next time.... Don't hit me with the 'You know what she meant..' either 'cause this ARTICLE HERE DOES SHOW MALES aren't seen positively at all a vast majority of the time (and sometimes with good reason honestly.)  so even if it is 'WORSE' or the struggle HAS been longer, there is a REAL STRUGGLE GOING ON RIGHT NOW THAT IS AFFLICTING OUR NEIGHBORHOODS IN A REAL WAY as well. The 'view of the relationship of a Father' as it pertains to being in his child's Life according to the court of law. **** Come into the courtroom down in the count. @ the 'male'.




http://www.news.com.au/opinion/men-fight-the-stereotype/story-e6frfs99-1111112629093


In particular this passage...


The research shows almost 70 per cent of social commentary on the male gender is unfavourable – portraying men as violent, sexually abusive, unable to be trusted with children, "deadbeat dads" and commitment-phobic.
In the largest Australian study of its kind, Dr Jim Macnamara analysed more than 2000 media articles and programs and found men were mostly positioned as villains, aggressors, perverts or philanderers.
Yes, well, any women's magazine will tell you that.
Male-bashing is a vital part of female bonding; it brings us together, gives us a common point of reference as well as something to complain about.
And the much maligned male so thoughtfully gives us so much material to choose from.
Affectionate bitching is one thing – the male bashing is now taking a more serious turn where boys are growing up in a world where they are faced with a distinct lack of role models.
According to Dr Macnamara, even the positive images of men in the media are delivered as a backhanded compliment with there being only one version of the "good men"; the sensitive metrosexual who is in touch with his feminine side.
Not much to choose from really; the unemotional, aggressive commitment freak or the moisturised, dithering doormat.
The media's limiting rendering of men is alarming says the University of Western Sydney academic because social policy works hand in hand with social stereotyping.
"Legislation is developed by government and largely driven by what is being said in society – it is already beginning to affect social policy if you look at child access and child custody issues.
"There is overwhelming discourse that men cannot be trusted with children – there is a lot of concern about men being alone in the company of a child."
Despite the tide of opinion positioning men as the perpetrators of crime, Dr Macnamara says when it comes to violence against children – women are often responsible.
"What we are doing is creating a society that believes 90 to 95 per cent of violence is committed by men and it's not true," he says.
"Research shows violence against children is more often committed by women – I'm not trying to push the blame back to women. I'm saying that as a society we need to look at the image that we are creating for young boys."

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/opinion/men-fight-the-stereotype/story-e6frfs99-1111112629093#ixzz1st7MeCeX

"




So ya'll were saying again? Oh... @ men aren't ever looked at in a 'negative light' when the term 'male' is used.. You sure? I know many of you WHO HAVE WENT AGAINST THAT STATEMENT WHEN DISCUSSING YOUR HOMEBOY'S CUSTODY BATTLES.


Ya'll kill me out here. Some celeb RTs some shit, in a TOTALLY DIFFERENT CONTEXT than the one you tried to frame it in on YOUR TL and NOBODY is supposed to say shit? FOH...


As the song goes..



<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/A949JshqvbI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>iframe>













*My respect isn't valued at any more than any other person's respect by the way. I'm not as pompous as some of you to believe that somehow, my respect will garner you this 'Worldly pass' into this mythical 'underworld' that some many of you clamor to be a part of....-_- . That wasn't said with any 'airs'. @ my respect.  So if you aren't seeking it, I'm not 'hurt'. Just as you shouldn't be if you don't fool with me and I am not seeking your 'respect'. I made the statement because so often, that is what I hear out of folks mouth...'I just want respect..folks don't have to like me but they will respect me.." That's not respect then. Respect is begat out of admiration. Not out of fear or dislike. I could give you the just due you deserve AND STILL NOT RESPECT YOU. Trust me. I've done it. The minute I could 'bury' someone who felt like that, I HAVE. You don't do things like that to folks you 'respect'...ya dig? Some of you need to stop niggarizing words and learn their TRUE MEANINGS..



**The Rooney Rule, established in 2003,^[1] requires National Football League teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching and senior football operation opportunities. It is often cited as an example of affirmative action. The Rule was established to ensure that minority coaches, especially African Americans, were considered for high-level coaching positions. Until 1979, Fritz Pollard was the only minority head coach in NFL history (which was during the league's early years in the 1920s) and by the time the Rule was implemented, only Tom Flores, Art Shell, Dennis Green, Ray Rhodes, Tony Dungy, and Herman Edwards had ever held head coaching jobs (Only Dungy and Edwards were actively head coaching at the time of the Rule's implementation, though Shell and Green would later return to the sidelines as head coaches). Dungy in particular had struggled for years before getting a head coaching job; he was often promoted as a head coaching candidate by Chuck Noll when Dungy was an assistant under Noll in the 1980s with the Steelers, but he would not become a head coach until 1996 when he took over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.




***Never heard of Kameelah? Real World Boston.. Here's a GREAT POST ON IT..


 http://toughtyping.blogspot.com/2009/03/kameelah-list-do-you-have-one.html



****Not that every DAD IS OUT HERE BEING UPSTANDING. A lot do TRY THOUGH and they don't fight through this obstacle. Same way, some Mothers intend to let their kid's Father in their child's life and....well.....LIFE gets in the way @ feelings, the need to provide, PARENTAL PRESSURE, etc, etc...

Hubby watching porn online finds film starring his wife - Emirates 24/7

 This would be the death of most of you though...I can tell just by how you tweet. Your little perfect fantasy World would be ruined. All the 'fantasy' you had built up in your head. Thinking you are 'winning' 'cause you don't have to 'fathom' the thought of your girl having sex with anyone else. All the 'bragging' about that you have done and....AND....you found out out of curiosity on what PORN EVEN LOOKED LIKE under the guise that your 'woman' couldn't POSSIBLY HAVE DONE ANY SORT OF FILMING? Damm it, why couldn't this happen to someone young and black? (Yeah..I said it..) I would LOVE TO SEE THE EGO DEFLATED IN THAT MANNER. All that hoe talk ya'll do...


Interesting that she didn't tell him btw ONLY BECAUSE she was EQUALLY AS POMPOUS enough to that she found a man who would NEVER FIND OUT she did that 'cause he 'just wasn't into that kinda stuff anyway...'.... Hilarious. (Oh you thought I wasn't going to go in on her? Wrong! ) 


Now I'm not THAT MUCH OF AN ASSHOLE. I feel bad the dude found out the way he did but honestly....


I live in the real World. The one where folks do what they did until you came along. @ having a past. I ain't about to sit up and judge someone's past I am just now finding out about some AT LEAST 16 YEARS AGO. Probably longer because he was an ex and then THE CURRENT COUPLE HAD A RELATIONSHIP.. We are almost talking two decades here folks. I know some of you can't fathom that because you have barely been on the EARTH for that long/are just really starting out doing things for yourself that long but that is a LONG TIME. It was a long time ago. Should it hurt? Yes. However, if he was truly as happy as he said, it will dissipate. As I also know 'grown relationships', I'm pretty sure he has his fair share of things that had to be 'forgiven' as NOBODY IS PERFECT nor do the enter into a Union that way... This isn't Fantasy Island.....




Hubby watching porn online finds film starring his wife - Emirates 24/7

Hubby watching porn online finds film starring his wife

An Egyptian man who went online to watch a porno film for the first time got the shock of his life when he found that the woman in the film was his own wife.
The man, identified as Ramadan, instantly collapsed in disbelief on the floor at an internet shop before coming round and rushing home to face his unfaithful wife.
The woman first denied his allegations and started to swear at him, prompting her husband to face her with the film.
Unable to deny it any more, she confessed to have betrayed him with her pre-marriage boy friend, telling him she had never loved him although they had four children during their 16-year marriage.
“I found 11 films showing my wife in indecent scenes with her lover….it was the first time I watched a porno film and I did this just out of curiosity,” Ramadan told Egyptian newspapers at his house in the northeastern province of Dakhalia.
“She first denied it and accused me of being insane before I faced her with the films…she then confessed to be still in love with her boyfriend, saying he is as young as her and that I am an old man.”
Ramadan said he had been happy during his marriage life until he logged on to that website. Newspapers did not say whether he decided to divorce her.

(Grown Folks Talk) Fellas (and some ladies): Stop the 'fuzzy math' when it comes to sexual #'s. Better yet. Stop asking. ..

Just like this magical 'hoe number' some ya'll have outchea.. @ folks who don't have answer for this equation.

 Ask about his/her health. (Recurring theme throughout this post. Won't be the last time you see that phrase..)


 Lets be honest. Ya'll aren't built for the answer. Which is why you use the 'fuzzy math' method to 'muddle shit up'. To justify your fragile ego. Don't worry, you aren't ALONE. We do it as humans for all types of reasons. This is just one example. As touched on in a post by my boy OG Nitty*, the person's number is TRULY THEIR BUSINESS ANYWAY PLUS THERE IS NO MAGICAL NUMBER THAT IS 'RIGHT'. I've YET TO HAVE FOLKS GIVE ME SO MUCH AS A 'RANGE' as to what is an acceptable number for a given time period for sexual partners. Oh, they start off that way but then when we start off doing the math, they trail off. Think, 1 to 3 folks a year for a person who is 30 who started at say...15.. Yeah...it 'sounds good' until you start multiplying. The 'standard' doesn't equal the 'reality' of the situation. The reality of the situation is that if you want to have sex with someone and the FEELING IS MUTUAL, the longer you live, the higher the number is going to be in regards to their 'number of times at the rodeo'. It is just a fact. Some of you are out here looking for the Fairy GodSlut to bless you with the 'She does EVERYTHING but she is a Virgin' pot of Gold outchea while you (and everyone else) are out here just getting your Prince Akeem on sowing your 'royal' oats. This is basic math. Shouldn't be anything 'fuzzy' about it. Regular good people have sex idiot. @ the usage of a # to shame folks for doing it.

Before I REALLY GET INTO THOUGH, I want to address you ladies that are sitting here snigglin' as you read this. Now I know some of you are gonna start that, "I took some years off for me' shit that you like to fall back on when you want to 'brag about your number' and shit. That's cool. If your number is low, GOOD FOR YOU. But lets be clear. Everyone else didn't get SHITTED ON OUT HERE THOUGH LIKE YOU DID so you can't hold folks to YOUR STANDARD 'cause you decided that 'all niggas weren't shit' and started having 'relations' with...oops...I mean you took some time off from 'dick'..my bad. Or even if you didn't partake in sexual relations of ANY SORT WITH ANYONE again, we all aren't you. @ taking being hurt to the extreme of a 3 year hiatus. ** Don't penalize the rest of us for your 'hurt alert' ass. @ your 'time away from the court'. Besides, we know ya'll leave out some encounters due to (insert your reason here E.I. 'No emotional connection, on vacation, didn't 'like him anyway' or whatever reason you use to pretend that sex didn't happen..). Just thought I would address that right quick before we went any further...

Now where was I? Oh yeah..I wanted to ask questions of some of you judgmental ass folks outchea...


Now lets just say that someone DID manage to fall PERFECTLY in line with this fictitious magical number that you can't seem to put into any type of range that some of you deem appropriate for sexual relations, are you gonna stop clowning them for not being 'experienced'? Are you going to stop using words like 'stuck up' or phrases like 'She thinks she is too good to be out here with folks"?

What about if YOU, WITH YOUR HIGH ASS NUMBER, does manage to have sex with her? Then what? Are ya'll going to stop with the 'I broke her down' bullshit? The 'I got over' mentality? Is she now a hoe by proxy because she fucked with your sorry ass? Riddle me that one Sherlock...

I mean there seems to be 'no win' in this situation. @ the 'numbers' game. Too high and you are a hoe. Too low and you are stuck up and a 'goodie two shoes'. Oh and there's no number for each age so you can't be 'normal'. You either have to be one or the other.. And you want to know why I want ya'll to grow up and stop asking for folks 'sexual numbers' though? -_- It should be clear. The RULES ARE MUDDLED AS FUCK. They always have been too. I don't want to make it sound like this is new. If you really knew me though, you would know I've been screaming this since I first had sex. (14) 'Cause at some point, I was confused by all the 'high number' talk. Especially when I knew folks were 'lying' about what they did and didn't do 'cause...well...I WAS THERE. @ who really had sex with who. Why is THAT IMPORTANT? Because you negros don't 'let shit go' that's why. You are still running on rumors of shit that happened 20 years ago even after YOU FOUND OUT THE DUDE (OR GALS) whose information you trusted so much were some 'frauding ass busters'. @ who they REALLY GOT BUSY WITH. Some of them are still passing that 'wack ass game' to their kids and their kid's kid out here. That's why it is important. I know the mentality of 'If he/she said it and they are popular/witty/hold weight, then it must have happened" truly is still thriving and guess what...(WHISPERS) That skews the 'numbers' too......-_-. Hadn't thought of that had you Sherlock? I know....

You see so maybe it is time to grow up and act like an adult for once. Stop it with the high school Laura/Steve Eurkel shit. @ the outlook on things. Folks are grown.

Dudes, stop running up on girls asking for how many sexual partners they had and MOST DEFINITELY STOP the 'background' checks if she is truly healthy. She had a life before your sorry ass and you will have one after her. Stop looking the Gift Horse in the mouth. @ all this bad mouthing women about the sex they have BEFORE AND AFTER YOU. It is not your concern. Only thing you should care about is if she is healthy. You can ask her THAT. That's cool. After that, everything else is being less than a man truthfully. Girls worry about the next person. Real men REALLY DON'T and don't even ask about it. Besides, most of you have the ego of a gnat. That is to say the 'slightest' little thing sets you off on a period like rampage. Ole Carl Thomas ass niggas...Why set yourself up to fail by asking for a number that you know you can't accept either way? If her number is low, you are gonna worry about if she knows what she is doing? (Wrongfully so...as she just might be...well..GOOD AT WHAT SHE DOES...It happens you know..) If her number is too high, you are gonna worry about all type of silly shit. High or low, you should ALWAYS be worried about her health if that is gonna be a concern. Any # over zero should raise that flag. The things you could get are like bullets. They don't speak numbers and they don't have names on them. They do them and get at whoever. Period. Stop thinking like a little boy for once. Damm.


 Ladies, you can stop 'spreading the word' about who sucked who off too. You were over there in the corner busy yourself. Remember? It doesn't matter that you 'never called that dude again 'cause you knew he had no contact info on your and ya'll were out of town.'. Nope. Sorry. If you are going to be grown, then be grown. Own up to your own shit and stop worrying about what the next broad is doing so you can look good. *** Own your numbers man. Without ya'll, we don't get laid by the OPPOSITE SEX. You are the opposite sex.


























*Sometimes I think Nitty is eavesdropping on my thoughts. I already had this post planned then he wrote this....


HEAD TO HEAD- -HOW IT GOES DOWN BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN: I SAY "FUCKIT"!


...and then I KNEW I had to write it.


 ** It should be noted that some of you who I do know who did that, you were NOT A JOY TO BE AROUND. Trust me. @ that time period. smh

 *** If you weren't in the same room with her when she did it, that is even MORE REASON TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. You didn't see it happen. I don't care if it is your 'bestie' telling you that he did it and he swore on his mother. He more than likely swears on his mother every time he is jammed up....

(Words/videos/Grown Folks Talk) Courtesy of my boy @Shane_MSGDUTI

I remember having these same revelations (thoughts, fears, questions, all of that..) as a young man as I was growing up. Luckily, there were folks around to help even when I didn't always accept their 'help'. So many questions and adventures that led to the answers that these young brothers are not only seeking but FINDING. Good to see this particular young man thinking 'cause that is all I ever wanted for him. Was for him to use his unique ability to see things 'developing before they happened' to navigate his way through life like he used to on the court*


I'm gonna get out of the way and let you listen to this 3 part introduction of what the letters in his Twitter name stands for and how him and his boy are out here trying to make some headway in the World.

My boy (right)

*Make no mistake, the boy was nice. He played at Laurinburg. They don't ask you to play there for nothing. Good to see him using his gift for other things for real. Hopefully this will inspire someone else who was once in his shoes..

(Words) Dear Folks in with these 'FantasyLand' ass ideals of a relationship..

I love ya'll. I promise I do. Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, no one is out saying you shouldn't have STANDARDS. Nope. No one is. So this post isn't a cry for folks to let others do WHATEVER. What this post IS ABOUT reality. That's it. The things that are about to be discussed might by in your REALITY (yet) but I gotta tell that the folks whose reality it IS IN, didn't have it in theirs either.


First though, I want to talk about this word some of you LOVE TO THROW AROUND..

SETTLE 

Oh you niggas throw this word around like it is the MAGICAL elixir to WHATEVER ails a relationship. As if by simply NOT DOING THAT, one will have a mate with NO SHORTCOMINGS whatsoever and all will be perfect in FantasyLand once again. (CHUCKLES) The funny thing about that is if ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY LIVED IT HOW YOU SPIT IT, you would be MUCH MUCH MUCH FARTHER IN YOUR LIVES ALL THE WAY AROUND. So it 'sounds good', when you say it but I kinda have a hard time believing you when I see you 'settling' yourself. Ya dig? Oh, I know you are settling too. Don't get if fucked up. I see what you 'claim you like' as opposed to what you have outchea. I not talking 'cream of the crop' goals either. I'm talking EVERY DAY ATTAINABLE GOALS that you have 'settled for less' in. Again, we all have 'standards' and a lot of you have stopped on the 'as long as he/she' can provide money OR good looks portion of the list and SAID FUCK THE 'GOOD COMMUNICATOR/BEST FRIEND/GOOD PERSON/SENSIBLE/ETC/ETC to the wayside. You choose ONE OR THE OTHER (good looking or money) and then you THINK YOU ARE GOOD. Then the REST OF THE SHIT SLOWLY BEGINS TO MATTER as the years (sometimes months) go on... This is the stage we are going to speak on today, for those of you who haven't gotten there yet. 'Cause neither of the two MAIN THINGS (good looks/money) are going to maintain (keep) a relationship good without some sort of outside stimulation. 






Do I have your attention now? Good. 


As I watch/listen/read some of ya'lls reactions to folks 'infidelities', relationship dramas, relationship issues, etc, etc, I can't help but chuckle at the SHEER naivete` some of you have when it comes to matters of the heart. I guess we all do it on some level but some of you boy.. Let me tell you. You act as if everything is 'disposable' and with one 'flip a button' you can just move on to the next thing. No Country for consideration of time, feelings, THE PERSON'S OWN FUCKUPS and the like. Nope. Ya'll get ya'lls paint brushes out QUICK when you hear about some shit on some 'Just do this...just do that..eliminate this..don't settle for that.." thinking the shit will just magically WORK OUT. Then...then.... and here is the shit that kills me, if you DON'T THINK IT WILL WORK OUT, your remedy is to....


"Just leave...." 

Now you've heard me say this before..NOT EVERYONE IS OUT HERE ON THAT 'Joni Loves Cha Chi' man. (I have to think of a more up to date version of disposable teenage love...I can't at the moment though..sue me.) Some folks, whether they are there for A GOOD REASON OR NOT, are in some HEAVY SHIT. Got years in their shit. Got their 'best years' (according their peers and their own personal mentality..another post..another time..)* in it. Kids*.. Needs.. wants..etc...etc.. that are getting meant and won't be by anyone else. Present problem that you 'know about' withstanding. This is why I don't EVER just get dismissive about folks problems with these types of answers. It is NEVER just that simple. Don't you idiots think that the person involved in the shit HAS THOUGHT THAT? Clearly they CAN'T DO THAT. That is up to them get to the point that they can so offering that up as a solution is pretty pointless at most points***. 

(Starts a slow golf clap for all of you have NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS IN ANY CAPACITY...) Congratulations, you are doing well. Don't ride to fast on your high horse though my nig and niggettes, 'cause almost to a man or women, all of those people you see in 'pain' or who are going through some shit were sitting pretty JUST LIKE YOU WERE. Their dismissive 'waves' to any 'issues' that may come up in a relationship have led to ADDITIONAL PAIN because they got BLINDSIDED. They thought that if they did XYZ then ABC would happen. I mean it makes sense right? Treat a person a certain way, you get good results and we all live HAPPILY EVER AFTER right? It is just that simple huh? Wrong.

Ya'll are out here forgetting we aren't ROBOTS THOUGH. Men nor women. Folks have bad days. Folks GO THROUGH SHIT. Folks aren't PERFECT when we get with 'em to begin with so where we are thinking they are going to 'evolve' they JUST MIGHT NOT EVER DO SO. Sometimes this happens at the SAME TIME for both folks involved in the relationship and the results are BAD.**** Shit HAPPENS. This is what the proverbial 'they' meant by that. You guys can all sit on the outside and 'peck away' with perfection if you like but unless you have been in the shit, you won't know. It is just lip service.. 

...which brings me to my next point. You just don't KNOW HOW FOLKS RUN THEIR SHIT. @ THEIR RELATIONSHIP. I see some of you commenting on how 'such and such' conducts themselves on the Internet' or at the party. It usually comes in my favorite form... 


"If that were me I wouldn't be putting up with...XYZ..I'm better than that.." 


Meanwhile, there is some nigga at home, putting up with you are and your Queen Diva attitude OR YOU ARE AT HOME PUTTING UP WITH A NIGGA DOING (Insert whatever you like here that you don't want us to know you put up with..Here's a hint...it is usually that one thing YOU ARE ALWAYS SPEAKING THE LOUDEST ABOUT...Try that...) Yeah man I hear ya'll outchea. Talking about what such and is 'getting away' with 'cause the other person doesn't know.. Here's a shocker...
 



 Maybe...just maybe... that's how they run their shit. Maybe...JUST MAYBE NOW, they have mutually agreed that whatever that other person is out there seeking 'in the World' cannot be provided at home and it is OKAY for the person you are CRUCIFYING to do WHATEVER IT IS THAT THEY DO outchea. Ever think of that Joni? Cha Chi? You didn't ...did you and I know why. You are pompous enough to think that you KNOW EVERYTHING and that everyone has to think like you. lol 

This just in... NO THE FUCK THEY DON'T HAVE TO THINK LIKE YOU... 


You see, some people KNOW THEIR SHORTCOMINGS AND KNOW WHAT THEY CAN AND CANNOT PUT UP WITH. What you call 'settling' (again while you are over there 'settling' yourself in some capacity..) is actually taking in account the human factor of this shit. Yeah...yeah...yeah.."That's why I'm never getting married/getting together seriously with anyone..." I know niggas...I know.... Good for you. Don't complain about what cats are out doing though within it though. Benefits and shit. You don't like the cons of it and that is YOUR BUSINESS. Shit isn't sweet. Never HAS BEEN. @ those of you touting 'relationships' have changed. They haven't. You just got older and got exposed to more shit is all. Like I have said on here time and time again, THERE IS A REASON AUNTIE BETTY WON'T LET UNCLE LEROY OUTTA HER SIGHT/Uncle LeRoy gets to STILL GO TO THE STRIP CLUB/AUNT JOY GETS TO GO ON OUT OF TOWN GIRL TRIPS/WHATEVER LITTLE FUNKY SITUATION that your little young mind is too small to grasp. These things exist for a reason and it is usually for the sanctity of the relationship. Occasionally, it is because mofos ain't shit but the REALITY OF IT IS, it because mofos don't provide that part of the relationship and agreements have been hashed out. 


So think about that, the next time you have a mofo in your DMs, after you found out they had somebody and you want to know 'why they are doing what they are doing" *****


Is this enough REAL TALK FOR YOU CATS OUT HERE? No sugarcoating. No FantasyLand. Just real gritty shit. I see all these wet behind the ears ass cats, quoting their little quotes about if you 'Treat someone like such and such then they will NEVER DO SUCH AND SUCH.." Fuck outta here with that shit. Sometimes, shit is rough and a motherfucker has to work on THEMSELVES. No amount of steak and blowjobs is going to fix that.. No amount of red bottoms and cards is gonna get that right. There is a reason why cats 'put up with certain shit' 'cause they KNOW THEY HAVE PUT THE FOLKS THEY ARE WITH THROUGH SOME REAL BULLSHIT that they didn't have anything to do with. So stop judging from afar outchea ya'll. For real. 


You look bad doing it with the 'little bit of facts' that you know. I don't care if it is you know 'she knocked off one of his boys' or he 'beat her ass' honestly. Sometimes, motherfuckers do shit and shit comes back around. Notice the person it happens to doesn't SAY SHIT now do they? There's a reason and it isn't FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW. We can't never be satisfied with that outchea though. We are always looking for someone who is worse off than ourselves so we can look, point and laugh at 'em. How about you fix YOUR OWN SHIT. How about that?? (Drops the mic) 










*I'll touch on it a bit now. Some of you think 19-25 are 'prime' years. Yeah..if you are a superstar with superstar money. Chances are, during that age, unless your peoples are rich or you are doing illegal shit, you don't have a pot to piss in nor window to throw it out of. So yeah, you got your little muscle game up or there isn't that much mileage on the pussy (so to speak) but you DON'T HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND THE VAST MAJORITY OF YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT. I don't care 'how rough you came up' or any of that. I know. I see the mistakes you are making out here. If you knew better, you'd do better. Proof is in the pudding folks. (Yes, some older people DEFINITELY STILL FUCK UP..THEY HAVEN'T LEARNED..)






**You are out here talking about 'improper Daddying and shit yet you want niggas who are Fathers to just 'leave'. Parenting from afar or jointly is cool and can be done. It is BEST DONE WITH EVERYONE IN THE HOME. It just is. If it worked out for you and yours....GREAT. Everyone isn't fit for it. See the SAME FOLKS YOU ARE OUT HERE DISSING FOR NOT BEING PARENTED PROPERLY FOR REFERENCE. Their parents were 'around' for the most part. Shit could have been better. Period. 


*** Until they are TRULY READY TO LEAVE. Then you can help them by reiterating that. Helping them with that. Constructively. Not by going out and getting new dick or pussy to wave in their face either. I'm talking REAL HELP. You know, helping them with THEIR ISSUES THAT MIGHT HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE ISSUES THAT THEY ARE HAVING??


**** And then some person of the opposite sex might benefit. It is NOTHING THEY DID. Which is why I don't give males (or females) 'credit' for knocking off someone in their time of need. You lucked up. Congratulations. Low hanging fruit. You didn't do shit but 'be there' fam. lol Keep telling yourself you are a 'mack' or a 'bad bitch' though. You got used. It is what it is.


***** As you stand up there on your moral high horse, ready to mount his or have her mount yours....

(Words) So WHEN folks DO TELL YOU THEY HAVE SOMEONE & it doesn't matter to you...

You may remember this little post I did on 'Social Networking and everyone not being 'available' on it:


http://thewarehous.blogspot.com/2011/12/words-on-viewing-folks-as-available-on.html


Well, in that post, I PROMISED to touch on what happens when FOLKS DO TELL YOU THAT THEY HAVE SOMEONE and what people STILL PROCEED to talk to the person anyway. Some of you DON'T STOP after you find out. You keep drawing lines in the sand and crossing them off one by one. It is just the truth. You do. No judging you from me believe it or not for DOING IT. I'm standing over here in judgment because you won't admit it. lol Admit it. Some of you know but don't want to look bad out here. It is understandable except for the fact that there is a WHOLE LOT OF YOU OUT HERE. I would even garner a guess that you are close to the majority. It definitely isn't 30/70 out here like folks want you to believe. Nope. Not at all.


Can we stop acting AND FAKING IT OUT HERE? Just once. 'Cause the truth of the matter is this...


Unless you are just a COMPLETE IDIOT, you pretty much know the following:


A. When someone you are interested in might have someone....


B. What you are going to do when they finally tell you dependent on their 'response'... 

It is RARELY  a case of you being COMPLETELY caught off guard at the 'news' that someone has a person in their life. Whether you knowing stems from when you get to talk to to them, see them, or whatever. It is just a matter of when one of the two of you decides to stop playing games and get it out there.

Of course you may have different levels of what you are willing to 'participate in' ONCE YOU FIND OUT if you are out here ignoring signals but you aren't cutting folks off. FOH with that 'indignant' I'mma leave 'em alone after my feelings are all up in it. How do I know? It is simple.


The first time your 'senses' (especially you self proclaimed KNOW IT ALL TYPES..) tells you that they may have someone instead of fleeing what do you do? You start to come up with 'excuses' why either it isn't true or it is okay to 'continue'. Lets just tell the truth. Which in turn, is why I personally don't wanna hear the self righteous, "I would never talk to taken..." crap when I KNOW FOR A FACT 90% OF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN SOMEONE IS TAKEN. Now let me reiterate that I don't 'CARE' who you talk to. Taken or not. I really don't. You just aren't gonna be out here shaming folks who 'do get caught up out here talking to/dealing with/seeing/flirting/texting/fucking/whatever' like you are as pure as undriven in snow, when you DO THE SAME THING. That's all I'm saying. Miss me ALL THE WAY with that shit. 

Again, I understand there are different levels of things. 

Some of you are out here looking for your 'ego' boost that you currently aren't getting from either your MAN/WOMEN or due to the lack of a 'claimable'* man or woman in your life. So you aren't going to do much but flirt and share a pic or two. Maybe a phone call is about as far as you are going. 




Some of you....just....LOOK...YOU KNOW YOURSELF. You know you are in it to win it. Once you lock in, you go on ahead and shoot your target. You just can't put down your spear. You gotta get that kill. Men and women. It isn't one particular gender so don't come at me with that. I've seen it. If you are like this and you aren't out here RUNNING at the first signs of someone being involved, you are NO BETTER THAN THE FOLKS YOU WANT TO RIP for 'getting caught'. Understand that. Some of you act like you are. You need to stop.



Oh and WHILE I AM UP HERE.. This 'Skype/Ovoo/me thing some of ya'll have going on. Yeah.. Now, EVEN IF YOU ARE CLEAR about your intentions about getting on Skype with someone, I gotta wonder about what they REALLY ARE if you are doing it from your bedroom, changing clothes in front of a nigga, skyping with your shirt off and all of that. Blurry line man. That's all I'm saying. Let me see you Skype a cat from the backyard or the Grocery Store so I know it is real or some other generic place so I know it is real. All the videos (that were leaked by some cowardly folks) seem to take place in REAL INTIMATE places..if you know what I mean... What else is one to think?

You can't get mad if someone EXPECTS MORE if you are CLAMORING TO SEE THEM IN REAL TIME via a video. You just can't. Lets stop the charade. Again..it doesn't mean they 'own you' or anything dumb like that but lets just stop acting like 'hearing and seeing them' isn't some type of stimulation and can't be confused with something else. **



*Almost everyone has some 'options' out here. It is whether or not you decide to 'claim your prizes' @ those folks that like you. Again, I'm no idiot. Unless you live in a bubble, there is always a 'someone' ALWAYS. Very few of you are TAKING TRUE HIATUSES out here between relationships/bonding experiences/fuck buddying GONE TOO FAR/ETC/ETC....So yeah. There's always someone. Never forget that.


**Unless of course it is STRICTLY BUSINESS for your WORK and MANDATED by your company. Just want to put that out there. All skyping/videoing isn't bad. Even if it isn't for work. Some of ya'll are banging under false pretenses though and you know it.

(Words) Gender roles in relationships....and the delusional outlook some of you have on them..

I am not the FIRST PERSON to speak on this. Lets get that out of the way now. I'm almost POSITIVE that the vast majority of you have seen someone else address this. So I don't want you to think that I am 'breaking new ground' here. Rather, I am just reminding those of you who 'know better' and maybe informing those that are 'slowly coming to that age' that they have to at least entertain the idea of 'being in someone's Life long term'* This is going to be some hard reading for a particular sex for the first part but you should 'hang in there'. Both genders get taken to task. Trust me.


I have a particular problem with the way we currently use 'old school' gender roles in a newer society. Especially with what is commonly known as 'bitch work' to the 'old guard' of men AND man's work to women. I mean with more women out of the household than EVER BEFORE, I don't see how we can go around applying this title to things THAT HAVE TO BE DONE and the TIME PERIOD THAT WAS ALLOTTED FOR EACH PERSON TO DO THEM HAS CHANGED. It has. Changes are being demanded of the woman and the man in different ways and rightfully so.

I truly am amazed at the lack of common fucking sense some of you have in regards to this. If you are both working, nobody is home to do the work. How hard is it to comprehend that you might have to SHARE IN THE RESPONSIBILITY of the vast majority of these things? Not help... DO @ share. You might have to cook. You might have to hammer a nail in a wall sweetheart. 

Also, if the decision has been made that ONE OF YOU IS TO STAY HOME, again, how can ANY OF THESE TASKS LISTED BELOW BE SEEN AS TRIVIAL? Regardless as to what gender it is that stays home? 

I mean you DO REALIZE THE PERSON that 'stays home' never 'clocks out' right? Right? ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE KIDS INVOLVED and they have either been staying at home for a long time or HAVE WORKED A REGULAR JOB THEMSELVES. They KNOW you aren't gonna come in and pick up where they left off at! They know that there is no place for them to 'just sit up and unwind' more likely. I don't see how you idiots don't see this from the outside though.The person that stays home is always encouraged to 'chase their dream' or go to school or something though. The trick to that is, since they can never 'clock out', when is that supposed to realistically happen without some help from the other person? It can't.... It is just like work too. Fast days. Slow days. They 'don't pay me enough for this shit..' days. Only there is no clock to punch out of... FOR THE DAY. 





Lets look at the type of tasks I mean when I say they are grouped via 'gender' for those of you who are still unclear...


Cooking. Dinner. Lunch. Breakfast (Except Sat. or Sunday depending on your household when most Fathers manned the kitchen..) 
Laundry.
Shopping.
Bathroom cleaning. 
Cleaning ANYTHING ELSE THAT NEEDED TO BE CLEANED.
Getting kids dressed. 
Helping kids with their homework.
Attending ALL SCHOOL FUNCTIONS whether you go or not..
Making sure EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT. 
Planning trips. 
Cutting grass
Responsible to try to fix/repair/replace pretty much anything that goes wrong. 
Painting. 
General yardwork...
I can keep going.....




Some of you minions out here REALLY STILL CONSIDER THIS WORK BENEATH YOU and as a result snidely label it 'women's work'. @ those things listed on here that are considered as such.


Oh sure you 'help' but you don't DO these tasks by yourselves which is a shame. Or rather, you feign that you can't. Which is even a bigger shame. These SAME MUNDANE TASKS that many of you claim on the Net daily that 'cats must have lacked at home' are the same ones you OPENLY refuse to do yourselves. Oh the irony... Ya'll are still looking down on FOLKS WHO STAY AT HOME, forgo/curtail/limit/chase it when they can their own ambitions and dreams for the most part to ensure their family is in the best position not only from a financial standpoint***** but just to provide the stability that you all claim most folks lacked growing up? Really fam? Really?




Now in REALITY, NONE OF THE SHIT I JUST LISTED IS 'WOMEN'S WORK'. That is a fallacy. ESPECIALLY NOWADAYS with the way things are shaped up. All of those things are part of RUNNING A HOUSEHOLD. Say it with me REALLY SLOW... Running. A. Household. So at this point, we should HONESTLY BE DROPPING THAT MONIKER when we speak on such things. I actually abhor the moniker. Yeah..there are some things that neither gender would 'prefer' to do but if the household is to run correctly, you should be able to perform 95% of its duties with NO GRUMBLING and with some level of skill.

The fact of the matter is though LADIES, there are some men WHO DO MORE THAN HELP. I see that being overlooked. Cats DO COME HOME AND HELP WITH THEIR KIDS HOMEWORK. They do 'pick up the kids' from wherever they are at. They DO COOK DINNER ON MORE THAN ONE NIGHT AND NOT JUST IN THE SUMMER TIME ON A GRILL. Not just out here grabbing pizzas either. Cooking food. Cleaning the house. Most of us actually were TAUGHT THAT by either a single mother or a MOTHER WHO KNEW THAT HER PEERS WERE RAISING DAUGHTERS THAT WOULD SOME DAY WORK ALONG SIDE WITH THEIR SONS. They adapted their parenting techniques accordingly so that their sons 'wouldn't need a woman to take care of them.."** So when you do find yourself a man like this, don't go around taking it for granted. Or trying to Nas that nigga on some 'Owe Me Back' shit for all the THOUSANDS OF YEARS WOMEN HAD TO BEAR THE BURDEN. It is not his cross to bear nor yours to nail him to. Keep that shit outta your relationship and concentrate on the good he does. Don't 'belittle' his clean up efforts. Don't take for granted he actually cleans the bathroom on the days you don't 'delegate it be done'...you know 'cleaning day..'. If he cooks dinner and it tastes good, damm sure let him know HOWEVER YOU SEE FIT*** Shit, if he is out here picking up kids, Krissy that nigga and prop.....my bad...let me stop playing. Just show some gratitude if he does that. You got yourself a good one as the 'general attitude' still seems to be..'That isn't for a man to be doing.."

I know men are doing 'cause I know folks who do it. Some of you men who are 'clowning' these dudes for doing it look pretty lonely over there too. I see you. I don't care what you say. Some of your 'singleness' is due to your absolute staunch stance of 'doing things like my Daddy/Uncle/etc' did 'em. Shit done changed...- Biggie.

I've seen some of ya'll with your kids looking like you just stepped into the Third Dimension. Looking lost like shit. Can't clean their nose properly. Can't even twist up a simple ponytail holder into your daughter's hair talking about you are a 'ladies man'..smh For shame cuz... Nobody said be Tim Gunn outchea but dammit, have some 'leeway' in what you 'won't do'. Your relationship will be better for it. Promise ya. Be the man you proclaim you want 75% of the Twitter ladies Fathers to be out here. Or have the potential to be. If you DON'T HAVE KIDS, that's GREAT. Doesn't mean you should be coming home putting your feet up like you aren't running around dirtying shit up too. Clean my nig. It is okay. You are in the comfort of your own home and you should care.






Yes, everyone will have their 'thing' that they do (Women with the hair..Men with the grass cutting...) but there shouldn't be too much of this talk outchea if you expect to 'make it'. 

Yes that means you Makeda..

'I'm not touching the trash.." shit like you are the Queen of Sheba is for the birds man. So IF YOUR MAN IS GONE FOR THE WEEKEND, you are gonna let the house just REEK OF CHICKEN GUTS AND OTHER ASSORTED THINGS 'cause your prissy ass can't tie up a bag, walk 20 feet to a CAN, open it up and PUT SOME TRASH IN IT? Yeah..see how many years that shit is gonna fly...


Don't chuckle it up Cornelius... Miss your spouse with all that...

Cornelius doesn't do laundry and bathrooms.... That's women's work... 



















So if your Lil Princess needs to take a bath AND YOUR WOMAN IS GONE, you mean to tell me your Neanderthal ass is actually going to let her sit in filth 'cause of your disdain for the bathroom cleaning my nig? @ your daughter. Word King? You are that stubborn huh? YOU BETTER NOT TWEET/FACEBOOK another status about niggas needing to be a 'Father to their child' then with that attitude fam....




Like I said, it all sounds good in 'theory' but today's circumstances just don't allow for you to have these 'hard lines' when it comes to gender roles. Go get some therapy for your 'childhood memories' of having to 'do whatever it is you did' and suck it up. Ya'll can't be out here 'claiming the rough childhood' as making you stronger but then turn around with these 'weak as water' arguments as to why you don't want to do them now.  Stop that out here. No wonder niggas are hitting up the divorce lawyer. Ya'll out here hustling backwards.... Lets be realistic when it comes to what we 'want' out here. I've seen MANY OF YOU BASH PRETTY MUCH EVERY CELEB out here that has gotten married/together with someone and they had these lofty expectations. Most recently Kim. Apply some of that logic to your own situation... Please. All jokes aside. ****


If I may, I would like to offer up this small piece of advice to anyone who finds themselves with someone like the folks I described up top in a negative light. It might be that time...@ reconsidering. The signs are there. Go on ahead and re-evaluate what is going on because they have pretty much already told you how they are 'going to be' regardless of the circumstances.. You ready for that? Not gonna tell you what to do beyond evaluate your situation. It is YOUR SITUATION. Do what you must. Just don't say 'Well..nobody broke it down for me..." That's a lie. I just did..


P.S. To the 'That's why I'm not getting married' crowd...these issues aren't just exclusive to married people..They afflict those who shack up too. Just saying....Shit changes when you live with folks... Which eventually, A VAST MAJORITY OF PEOPLE DO END UP DOING...



My point to ALL OF THIS IS that the days of the man going out and providing and the woman sitting at home doing her work are LONG GONE. Those Worlds have now intertwined. It is high time SOME OF YOU SEE THAT and factor that into your expectations. That's all. It may not go down EXACTLY how I typed it up top for some of you but it SURELY ISN'T GOING DOWN THE WAY YOUR GRANDMOTHER/GRANDFATHER'S DAUGHTER/SON HAD IT. That's for sure. It is different.






*Notice I didn't say married. Long term. It could include marriage but the same principles apply to 'playing house'. @ what most of you out here have claimed you will be doing as opposed to marriage..

**That was my mother. She taught me all the things she knew so that I wouldn't 'starve', not be clothed or live in filth in the event that I needed to handle those duties. She gave me the power to choose someone because I 'wanted them', not because they could 'provide' those things for me. Great if they do but I can do 'em myself. All the way.

*** That's another discussion for another time.. Use your imagination in the meantime though...(winks)


****I've been working on this topic for awhile and scrapped it a couple of times. The irony that it finally came together today after listening to a certain radio show last night is not lost on me though...


***** For you non-grown folks, finances are more than just about being able to afford the latest Space Jams man. Or that new snap back. Or that Mac or 'Droid. Cats have SEWER BILLS bigger than your car payment and your apartment rent combined. That's just one bill. In some cases, by the time folks finish paying for parking, the commute cost, food and wear and tear on a car, they are in the RED going to work. Never mind the costs of after care, the sick days for leave for children and all of that. We are talking GROWN UP FINANCES here. Not kiddie finances. So yeah..it is actually BENEFICIAL for one person to stay at home after you do the math. I've done it for folks before to really break it down for them. It is pretty eye opening.