This is one of those things that I KNOW ONE OF MY ELDERS KNEW but decided to let me find out ON MY OWN. Damm them for that shit. I REALLY WISHED SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME just how SELFISH the concept really is.
Some of you think it is considerate. It is considerate to WHOM? What makes it considerate? I mean if you call putting someone's mind on mental Rolodex for hours on end, trying to desperately figure out if you are about to 'leave them', if you are terminally ill, or if something else catastrophic has taken place considerate PLEASE DON'T DO ME ANY FAVORS. That shit isn't considerate. It is torture. Just pull the bandaid off man.
I do it because I care and want to soften the blow- You.
I question how much you REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM and whether this about them or YOU! You see, most of the time when folks say 'We Have To Talk', they have fucked up somewhere along the line. They are at fault. Not ALL THE TIME. Just sometimes. So this one is for you. Put your big boy pants/big girl panties on and face the music. Shit is clearly not going anywhere so you are gonna have to deal with it anyway. If it isn't YOUR FAULT, you still have to face it so my stance still stands. Matter of fact, the fact that you KNOW THERE IS A NEED TO TALK makes you just as culpable from THAT POINT ON. That's what grown ups do. Handle their shit. In a timely fashion. Not whine and bitch their way outta issues on some 'Well you didn't see it so it REALLY ISN'T MY FAULT...' Another post another time though..I digress...
I mean what kind of person hits someone in the A.M with this shit, doesn't tell them WHAT IT IS THAT IS THE PROBLEM and leaves them to sit mull over ALL THE FUCKED UP THINGS THAT THE 'TALK' COULD BE ABOUT? Then have the nerve to get 'upset' at that person for 'making up scenarios' in their head all day and being PISSED by the time it is time to talk. smh.
Then you wonder you are running into Sobbing Keisha or TimeBomb Tommy by the time the 'talk' takes place. It is YOUR OWN FAULT. You set that series of events in motion. People don't think though. Well....they think about themselves. Somehow, by telling folks that 'We Need To Talk', folks have made themselves feel better about delivering fucked up news. Newsflash:
FUCKED UP NEWS IS FUCKED UP NEWS....FOLKS ARE GOING TO REACT HOW THEY ARE GOING TO REACT. At least that is how I see it. Everything else is theatrics. Cats 'snapping' and acting a fool were going to do so anyway. At least with certain folks...** Stop giving them excuses to by coddling them with 'a heads up'. You are ruining it for anyone else who has to deal with them. You don't know how many 'adults' I have ran into that have struck the fear of God in folks 'cause people 'know'/feel' they don't 'handle news very well. It is because you IDIOTS HAVE MADE IT ACCEPTABLE FOR THEM TO ACT AN ASS. Give 'em the news and stop setting mundane news like you are getting ready to tell a nigga he is gonna die. Making preparations and shit. Going outta your way. I know....
....I am 'one of those folks' that people feel that way about due to HEREDITY. Man look, I'm gonna react how I am gonna react. If you call me and tell me that 'that thing you were supposed to do for me' fell through, depending on WHO YOU ARE, I PROBABLY PLANNED ON YOU SCREWING IT UP ANYWAY. Very few of you have to worry about me being 'disappointed' to the point that I would snap out on you.
If it is about my kids, I am going to TAKE CARE OF WHATEVER IT IS THAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF. I don't have TIME TO BE OUT HERE 'SNAPPING' AND ACTING NIGGERISH 'CAUSE IT 'SHOWS OTHERS THAT I CARE'. Hell is that gonna do? Oh I get it, it is gonna increase my rep.....MAN FUCK MY REP. THESE ARE MY KIDS. Only folks I care about caring about my 'rep' is THEM AS IT PERTAINS TO THAT SITUATION. That's it. I could give a shit about showing out for 'my folks' or for some no name nigga on Twitter/Facebook/whoever gets wind of the story so I can have 'their respect' or so they can say 'That's exactly how I would handle it.' I mean that is cool and all but that is not what I am out here trying to be about. Good luck to those of you out here worried about that though.
How can I say this? 'Cause I have some COTDAMM SENSE. That's why. Do you know how much BULLSHIT I AM NOT TOLD because everyone thinks I will 'Walt out'* on 'em? It is sad. I get told MORE STUFF LAST then I should because of that. I HATE IT. So that is my personal reason for speaking on this. I have seen others get treated this way and unfortunately THEY DON'T HAVE THE SENSE GOD GAVE 'EM and folks DON'T TELL THEM THINGS. Shooting folks...beating up folks....just acting a complete nut because 'folks expect them to' and then said folks are left looking around like 'Why does he/she act that way?" It is partly your fault for coddling them. If they want to act an ass, let 'em. Eventually they will get tired of breaking their own shit, getting arrested for being a hothead or whatever other consequences are the direct result of that shit. Again, as a person who was labeled like that, I will tell you it is possible. If they don't, oh well. You can't save everybody. Put your cape away and move on. Plus, you are giving folks a 'pass to act a fool'. Why would you do that? Just tell 'em.
This must come to an end people. Yes, at times you 'have to set a tone' for a conversation. That's cool. You don't have to set it FOUR TO FIVE HOURS IN ADVANCE THOUGH. Stop being extra and shit. Act like an adult for once.- Jay-Z. You are setting yourselves up to fail with this method. If you have something to talk to someone about and it isn't going to happen in say..THE NEXT TEN MINUTES.....just don't SAY SHIT UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT. Whatever their reaction was going to be isn't going to change because you 'gave them a heads up'. You aren't doing them any favors and if you are having a 'talk' about some shit either you did or they did, 'making them sweat about it all day' is pretty much asking to argue with a powder keg.
Man up...sack up...act like you have a set of nuts (woman up..ovary up....whatever) and just say what you have to say when you see the person.....
*My Dad's Dad. Who in turn my Dad was JUST LIKE...who in turn I am just....well you get the point. Sorta. The point was for me to be JUST LIKE THEM BUT THE IMPROVED MODEL. Ya dig? So I've tried to evolve. "Cause no one REALLY DEMANDED THAT OF THEM like my Dad did of me in his subtle ways..
I mean I WON'T ACT LIKE I HAVE THE BEST REACTIONS TO CERTAIN THINGS BUT DAMM..I like to think I am pretty rational. I just don't play around when it is time to take action and maybe that is what folks see. I don't 'hold back'. I won't use the 'cliche' but yeah. 100% is what you are going to get when it involves ME and my reactions are swift, severe and WELL THOUGHT OUT.
** Ever notice that folks who are 'crazy' like that seem to KNOW WHO TO ACT LIKE THAT WITH. Yeah..there are a few folks in the World who snap regardless but most folks KNOW WHO TO ACT LIKE THAT WITH and who gets 'excited' when they go into their 'He-Man/She Ra' act. That shit actually doesn't work on some folks. Hats off to those folks who don't let that shit deter them from giving it to 'em STRAIGHT and like an adult. Who actually can and will control that ass if they want to go ahead and 'act out over whatever is going on'. I salute you if no one else does. Regardless of your occupation.