I'm passing it along because she is explaining something I have seen SO MANY OF YOU (FEMALES TOO) GOING THROUGH. So I thought I would share it. Take it for what it is worth. It is her truth but pieces of it could be your reality as well....Enjoy.. Just a look from the other side of things for the fellas.
Monday, 2 January 2012
The after effects of NYE
All previous attempts of trying to be a couple have so far failed but has something changed? Would it work if we tried again..
The thing about me and him is though I adore his company, if I see him too often he does start to annoy me.
But that's the thing about me I like my own independence and my own space, I like to keep my social/love life separate from my home life and as such I don't have much time for a proper full time boyfriend.
Every time me and RB have tried I have ended up with itchy feet and wishing I was single again. I always bin him. I always hurt him.
In fact the last time we started 'seeing' each other I fell head over heels for Festival Boy a matter of days later and dropped RB like a hot potato.
As such I said to him a couple of months ago that much as I'd sometimes like it to, that I don't think me and him would ever work. I can't bare to hurt him again as I can't seem to stop myself from following the same pattern.
But RB is the one I go to when I feel a pang of loneliness. When we're together we behave like a couple and it's nice, familiar.
Despite that I don't think he will ever be the one. Part of me is always thinking I'll do better. Part of me thinks opting to be with him would be 'settling', which after my last disastrous long term relationship I swore I would never do.
Then there is another part of me that thinks - nobody's perfect. I definitely aren't. What if he's as near to perfection as I'm going to get?
What if I can't see what I've got until its gone? Would I be gutted if he found someone else?
I've moaned several times about his orgasm providing abilities but he's got the right tools - if I wanted to I could teach him right? At least he has a bigger than average 'wand'. Hehe.
So as I was thinking all this to myself I text him to say thank you for NYE and to apologise if I embarrassed him at all. I told him that despite the rediculousness of it all I had a great night simply because I was with him and that I cared about him a lot.
We started talking, I asked him what his thoughts were on us. He said
"What you mean us. You said it yourself a few month ago. There isn't an us. It doesn't work does us x"
He was right I did say that but all the same it kind of stung coming from him, especially as the night before (relatively early on in the night too - he wasn't drunk) he'd said to me he could see himself proposing to me in 2012.
So my instant reaction was to tell him in that case I don't think we should see each other anymore. Which I kind of don't. The more I see him the more I like him and if it's never going to work then why bother?
So he says 'what not at all' and I say I'm confused then he says
"Im happy being friends but I really don't think we will be anymore than that x"
So I reply:
"I can't just be your friend."
And that was the end of the conversation.
So there pretty much wasn't a decision to make was there? So glad I didn't sleep with him because if I had I'd be feeling like complete SHIT right now.
Pfft I know I can be confusing but boys are so annoying.
